A Guide To Becoming Oneself
Presented by The Black Sheep Individuation Lab
An 8-week psychoanalytic seminar and discussion series
What does it mean to be oneself?
We are often told to “be yourself,” but what does that actually mean? Authenticity is far more complex than it sounds, especially for those of us who learned early in life to suppress parts of ourselves in exchange for love.
Many of us had early attachment experiences that unconsciously taught us to become the version of ourselves we believed our parents would love and accept, rather than the person we actually were. We became highly tuned to perceive what is wanted and acceptable to others rather than learn to perceive and tune into what is inside ourselves. The unconscious forces that shape the development of our sense of self become the map throughout our lives and influence the choices we make.
Being real—being oneself—is more important and relevant than ever during this era of modern capitalism, where being real has become supplanted by a simulacra of real—an assembled set of behaviours and feelings, an As-If self that gets all sorts of external validation, rather than truly being a real self.
Being oneself is easier said than done. If we align with our real selves, it threatens our attachment system that prioritises safety in connection with others over our own selves.
There may have been times when we allowed ourselves to be real, only to receive criticism, rejection, and judgment from our significant attachment figures. We learned to protect ourselves from these painful feelings with defences built around a false self. We learned to adapt to the needs of others, making them feel good, in exchange for affirmation and love, even if this costs us our authenticity.
This 8-week seminar series offers an overview of the process of separation and individuation from a psychoanalytic perspective. Its conceptual framework is grounded primarily in the work of James Masterson, object relations, attachment, developmental neuroscience, and Margaret Mahler.
My hope is that, by making accessible psychoanalytic ideas that are normally shared among psychoanalytic psychotherapists, I may provide the community with a coherent understanding of how the process of becoming real works, how its different elements fit together, and what is required to become oneself.
Each session will include presentation of material drawn from my own synthesis and thinking on this subject, followed by open discussion. Questions and contributions are welcome throughout.
About the presenter
Mee Hee Douglas is a Korean-Australian clinical psychologist and psychoanalytic psychotherapist. She was orphaned at the age of 3 and adopted at the age of 6 by a British mother and New Zealand father living in Western Australia.
She has spent much of her childhood and adult life thinking about who she is, where she belongs, and what matters to her. Her curiosity and questions about herself and others led her to explore New Age healing and philosophy from the age of 11, and later to qualify as a Gestalt Therapist, Clinical Psychologist, Child and Adolescent Psychotherapist, and Psychoanalytic Psychotherapist.
She has practised as a clinician for over 20 years and primarily works with adults and couples. She created The Black Sheep Psychologist as a platform to share her ongoing enquiry into herself, others, and humanity.
Seminar details
When
Seminars will be held on Wednesdays from 12:00pm to 1:30pm AEDT (Sydney time), from 14 October to 9 December 2026.
There will be no seminar on Wednesday 2 December.
Where
All seminars will be conducted via Zoom. To protect participants’ privacy, the seminars will not be recorded.
Cost
$480 AUD including GST
Register
To register, please email your confirmation of attendance to info@theblacksheeppsychologist.com by Monday 5 October 2026.
Full payment is required to secure your place and is non-refundable. Payment details will be provided upon registration.
Maximum 10 participants.
Important Notice & Eligibility
Please note that this series is strictly a psycho-educational event and does not constitute clinical assessment, psychological treatment, or psychotherapy. To ensure privacy and confidentiality, current clients are not eligible to participate. This is an educational space where concepts map onto real life, but the concepts will be held safely in theory rather than unpacking personal history.
